Valentine’s Day and a Love Crash Course by Bindu Unnikrishnan | A Humorous Nonfiction

Valentine’s Day and a Love Crash Course

By Bindu Unnikrishnan

In my forties (okay, not specifying whether early or late), I decided to celebrate Rose Day. Why should the ‘love of my life' miss out on a romantic gesture that every young couple seems to indulge in these days? Besides, with our 25th wedding anniversary coming up next year, a little groundwork for a grand gift wouldn’t hurt.

After enduring a never-ending wedding season—mehendi, pre-bridal showers, sangeet, and enough ceremonies to make me question if marriage had become a festival—I wondered if Valentine’s Day, too, had joined this madness. Chocolate day, hug day, kiss day, rose day, propose day, teddy day, promise day …..leading to Valentine's day.

There was this grand florist ( dismissed always as beyond my budget kind) 'Roses and Lilies', right next to my favorite bookstore. Though my heart truly belonged to the bookstore, the breathtaking floral displays always caught my eye. Still, I had convinced myself I was too old to fall for that trap. Besides, my husband was more of a "dim-er devil and kachuri dum aloo" kind of guy than an orchids-and-lilies romantic. His love language? Feeding his stomach (read: maintaining his pot belly).

Every date he had ever taken me on revolved around food—food, food, and more food. I chuckled at the memory of our first date, where he insisted on taking me to a local Navy Nagar stall near Colaba instead of a fancy restaurant. “Why waste money when we can have the best chinese in town?” he had said. And I had fallen for him right then and there.

Yet, here I was, two decades into marriage, standing in line at 'Roses and Lilies' alongside lovestruck twenty-somethings, ready to buy a rose on Rose Day. My midlife crisis had already hijacked my year, and something told me this was just the beginning.

Stepping inside, I felt momentarily dizzy at the sheer variety of flowers, arrangements, hampers, and accessories. The last time I visited a florist, they sold, well… flowers. Now, they had partnered with the gift industry—there were even Victoria’s Secret perfumes nestled inside floral hampers! The world was speeding ahead, and I was still buffering.

A sharply dressed salesman, looking more like a BMW dealer than a florist, greeted me with a polished smile.

“Good evening, Ma’am,” he said smoothly. Ma’am. At least he didn’t call me ‘Aunty Ji’.

“Looking for something in particular?” His British-accented voice oozed charm. Probably did his MBA in London, I mused.

“It’s Rose Day, right? Show me something nice,” I replied.

“Well, our flowers are curated for specific relationships. You’ll need to specify what you’re looking for,” he said.

I was about to tell him I wasn’t here to choose between a joint-family SUV and a two-seater convertible for a newlywed couple, but I nodded instead.

“You see, these blood-red roses are for a committed relationship—one that is more or less cemented.” He eyed me knowingly. “Shall I pack these for you?”

Cemented relationship? Was it my laugh lines? My barely concealed gray strands?

“However,” he continued, “if you’re in a situationship, I would recommend these pink roses rimmed with a streak of red—perfect for saying, you’re almost there, but not quite.”

I vaguely remembered hearing that term in some web series. “Situationship… is that like a live-in relationship?”

“No, Ma’am,” he chuckled. “It’s more… fluid. No real commitment, just vibes.”

My generation calls this cheating.Why call it a ‘situationship’ when it’s just a relationship—but with loopholes?

Scanning the store, I noticed an array of oddly streaked flowers. Yellow with pink streaks. Pink streaked with red. Orange with white. Was love now color-coded?

The salesman’s eyes twinkled. “Ah, Ma’am, I see you’re unfamiliar with modern relationship dynamics. Allow me to enlighten you.”

And so began my ‘crash course in contemporary romance:

Soft launch (Lavender tulips) – When you subtly introduce your partner on social media, showing only their hand holding yours over coffee.
Benched (White lilies with purple streaks) When you’re kept as an option but never the first choice.

Breadcrumbing (Baby’s breath with red tips)– When they keep you interested with just enough attention but never commit.

Polyamory (Multi Colored hydrangeas) – Love that flourishes with multiple partners, all openly acknowledged.

Friends with Benefits (Poppies and jasmine) – Exciting, intoxicating, but without deep roots.

Ghosting (Wilted roses—yes, we actually sell these) – For when they vanish into thin air, leaving you questioning your existence.

Hard launch (Bright red and gold roses) – A grand, dramatic relationship reveal on Instagram.

Cushioning (Pink roses with a touch of blue)– When someone keeps a backup option… just in case.

Pocketing (A single hidden violet) – When they refuse to introduce you to friends and family.

I burst out laughing. “So, what do you recommend for a ‘happily married' couple dealing with a midlife crisis?”

He smirked. “Classic red roses… paired with a lavender orchid for patience.”

“Why patience?”

“Well, Ma’am, you’ve been married for more than two decades. He deserves a flower for surviving your mood swings.”

I gasped. “Excuse me! My husband is the one who—” I stopped. He had a point.

With a sigh, I settled for a classic red rose. Whether cemented or not, some things never change.

As I walked home, I smiled, thinking about how love—whether young or decades old—always finds a way to be celebrated. Maybe not with a situationship bouquet, but with something simple.

Like a plate of chinese fried rice shared under the stars.

About the Author

Bindu Unnikrishnan is a passionate writer, poet, and educator whose words resonate with deep emotions and thought-provoking narratives. A seasoned teacher with over two decades of experience, she inspires young minds to think beyond textbooks. Her literary journey has been marked by the publication of her poetry book, My Treasure Trove of Emotions which beautifully captures the essence of human emotions, love, resilience, and self-discovery. An accomplished author, she has co-authored over 50 anthologies and contributed to esteemed literary magazines. Her storytelling blends vivid imagery, suspense, and heartfelt emotions, making her works deeply relatable and impactful. Beyond writing, Bindu is an avid reader,marathoner, and a beauty pageant winner. Having earned prestigious titles such as 'Mrs. Maharashtra 2023 (Elite),' 'Beauty with Brains,' and 'Beauty with Purpose,' She believes in embracing life with passion and perseverance, inspiring many through her journey. She can be reached at bindu13@gmail.com.